Week Fourteen – A Day In The Life

Week Fourteen

“a day in the life”

Something a little different this week: pick any day of the week and record a diary for that day. It can be as brief or as detailed as you like, but … whichever day you choose, you MUST POST YOUR DIARY ON THE SAME DAY!!

Make it easy: keep a notebook handy, or use Evernote, and jot down things as they happen. At the end of the day copy your notes to a blog post and you’re done :)

5:20 am – Alarm goes off. Tumble out of bed and stumble to the kitchen. Pour myself a cup of ambition, yawn and stretch and try to come to life. (Just kidding. Alarm goes off, open one eye, swear under my breath, hit snooze)

5:30 am – As above.

5:40 am – You guessed it. Snoozy snoozerson.

5:53 am – Bolt out of bed in a blind panic, fling self in direction of shower.

6:00 am – Toothbrush engaged! Minty freshness achieved!

6:10 am – Make bed. Hospital corners and all. Get a bit obsessive with the sheet smoothing/pillow arranging. Try to talk self out of it but I’m ignoring me today, apparently.

6:20 am – Take blood sugar levels and adjust with insulin injection. Take meds with giant glass of water. Get dressed in for work.

6:30 am – Fire up Ripley (my car). Decide that the morning’s podcast will be the new ‘Walking The Room’. Yawn so hard that eyes fill with water. Decide this is an awesome time to engage early morning Perth traffic.

6:32 am – In traffic. Begin to regret giant glass of water at 6:20 am. Hnnnnnnnnnng.

6:47 am – Park in seekrit location. Shhhhhh. It’s a few minutes walk to work and it’s free.

6:49 am – Very narrowly avoid slipping on actual banana peel that actual person dropped on actual road no doubt expecting actual comedy hijinks.

6:50 am – Nearly mowed down by angry cyclist as I wasn’t really looking where I was walking as I typed the above sentence into my phone.

6:53 am – Arrive at work. Coffeeeeeeeeeeeeee.


7:00am – Caffeine begins to work. Start feeling alive. Consider being friendly to co-worker. What the hell do they put in this shit?

7:01am – Checking my emails. Nothing too serious in the old inbox. Nice.

7:02 am – Customer calls another rep, asks for me by name, says I broke their email.

7:03 am – Am coaxed out from under desk with the promise I don’t have to speak on the phone, just look at their account. Proceed to do so and see that the customer’s tech logged in and switched off all of their mail. Relay this to rep who relays this to customer.

7:04 am – Turns out it’s not the customer on the phone, it’s the tech. He denies all knowledge and demands to speak to me.

7:05 am – I am in Mexico and have just undergone gender reassignment surgery.

7:06 am – Tech gets quite nasty with rep, who promises to look into it and get back to him. I gather proof that tech’s login made the changes and we all roll our eyes and sigh a bit. Tech gets a callback. He is then emailed screenshots as proof. That shuts tech up quick smart. Probably because we also CC’d the people he works for. Works a treat, that.

7:07 am – High fives all round. Celebratory dancing. Then all of our systems go offline.



7:30 am – My shift starts. Yes, all that crap before and I wasn’t even on the clock. Yay, Monday. Start loudly singing “Everything is fucked, now!” to the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’. To my surprise three team members join in.

7:31am – I’m ‘answer the domains and hosting team’s support emails dude’ until 12pm. 89 emails to my team since yesterday. Not too bad. And the email system is working. Hi ho, hi ho, etc.

8:01 am – Hear that Reece Witherspoon got arrested – looked up news story. She was likely drunk and interfering with the arrest of her drunk driver partner…

More like ‘Reece Withabagofgoon’ amirite?

8:12 am – The systems come back up again. Huzzah! My awesome bestie @tobiasampersandcontacts me on our internal MSN and I tell him about my exciting morning via interpretive dance by typing a few choice swear words. He seems well impressed.

9:25 am – A manager walks by, showing some new reps around our floor. He points at me and tells them I’m a lovely guy with heaps of knowledge. I quickly close the Bananarama fan page website I was looking at and try to pull a lovely/knowledgeable face. End up looking like I have gas.

10:00 am – Morning break. Fifteen minutes of freedom. Cram packet of crisps in gob. Follow it with giant glass of water so that they drown before they reach my stomach and can do no harm. Get excited because I’m so smart. Pretty sure abs will appear any day now.

10:15 am – We’re getting a lot of calls so they ask me to jump on and take a couple. Answer my first call of the day.

10:57 am – End first call of the day after finally managing to convince woman on phone that she probably had caps lock on and that’s why she can’t log in to her account.

11:30 am – Start lunch discussions via MSN with @tobiasampersand. It has been decided that I shall purchase sushi and that he will probably have the ham and cheese roll he brought in for lunch because he likes ham and cheese rolls and he went to the effort of bringing it in so may as well etc etc.

11:55 am – Check blood sugars, take insulin.

12:00 pm – LERNCH!!! Sprint to local Japanese Takeaway (Nippon Fare) and obtain delicious sushi.

12:06 pm – Sitting in lunchroom taking obligatory food photo. Get sprung by one of the engineers who ribs me mercilessly. Make mental note to try to break whatever he’s in charge of maintaining when I return to my desk.

Sorry that it isn't filtered a la Instagram

12:07 pm – 12:28pm – Lunch with @tobiasampersand. Main topic of discussion today – champagne ham is probably made from slightly tipsy socialite pigs.

12:30 pm – Back at desk. Call taking time.

01:30 pm – Finish call taking. Relatively painless. Back on the emails. Started with 89. Answered 35. There are now 76. Help.

01:45 pm – New co-worker walks past, he is heavily tattooed, with glasses and a shaved head. He smiles at me.

01:46 pm – Google ‘gay wedding planners, New Zealand’. Check price of flights. Decide on an October ceremony.

02:20 pm – Afternoon break. Go into staff room and co-worker says not to sit near the sink as something smells really bad. Sit away from sink but can still smell it. Exclaim loudly that it smells like a mixture of shit and parmesan. Turn to see co-worker looking revolted as he puts his delicious sandwich down and pushes it away.

02:52 pm – Find customer notes where a rep has written “suggested customer look at Google Analtics”. Am slightly intrigued but decide not to Google this with safe search off.  Turns out he meant Analytics but you can’t be too careful.

03:11 pm – Tattoo man hasn’t walked past again. Or called. Am devastated.

03:40 pm – Get given task of helping a customer over their email limit delete 32,000 emails.  Would be easy if not for the fact that they need to keep *some* of them, meaning it has to be done semi -manually.

03:50 pm – Deleting emails semi-manually crashes my computer three times. No way am I leaving at 4pm.


04:18 pm – Give up and decide to continue tomorrow morning.

04:24 pm – In car, 80′s soundtrack loaded for the drive home. Arrive home 30 minutes later. Bring in bins for all three apartments because I’m nice like that.

04:40 pm – Sit in front of computer, just for something different. Tweet, download stuff, get new Dr Who from iTunes (1080p, bitches!). Listen to some music. Song reminds me of an ex. Haven’t seen him since messy breakup in ’96. Decide to Google ex. Find a video of ex giving a lecture at Sydney University. Watch video against better judgement.

04:45 pm – Finish spray painting “GOOGLE = SATAN” on the walls. Admire handiwork.

05:48 pm – Waiting for Coles home delivery. Am starving. Vow not to eat anything until I have groceries and I can make something healthy. Three seconds later am eating peanut butter out of a jar with a tablespoon.

06:10 pm – Coles delivery! Much happiness! Freak out delivery guy by saying ‘thank you’ too many times in a row. After he leaves I find a half tablespoon of peanut butter on my chin. Classy.

06:31 pm – Cooking salmon for the first time. Am rather good at it for someone who once accidentally made a ham and asparagus spongecake. Trying to eat better food to help with depression and overall life-livingness so also blanch bunch of asparagus and drizzle with balsamic.

Victory is mine! Muahahahah!

06:35 pm – Check blood sugars, inject insulin.

06:42 pm – Deliciousness abounds. I’m like that chef bloke off the telly that swears at people. Without the chef or telly part though.

Dinner is served!

06:48 pm – Find self thinking that Cameron Daddo looks well rough in this ad until I discover it’s not actually him.


07:00 pm – Tempt fate by cooking chicken breast for lunch tomorrow. Begin to wonder if I’ve stumbled in to alternate universe when nothing burns, bursts into flames or turns into a spongecake.

07:20 pm – Cleaning the kitchen. Washing the dishes. Will this devil-may-care existence ever end?

07:38 pm – Pyjamas on, collapsed on couch. Doctor Who time – ‘Cold War’



08:17 pm – Meh.

08:20 pm – Ooookay then.

08:26 pm – Not bad in the end. See preview for next episode. It looks scary and awesome. Bounce up and down on couch excitedly until it makes odd “SPUNNNGGGG” noise.

08:40 pm – Time to write out this blog!

10:00 pm – Done!

10:30 pm – Check blood sugars, inject insulin (basal dose for overnight maintenance), take night meds.




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